A New Challenge

I'm one of those annoying people who need a goal to work towards, all the time. It could be physical or mental; work related or personal, but I thrive on having a target. 

Last year I booked a photoshoot for my 40th birthday so I worked my butt off to look good for that.

The year before that was my wedding, so another physical goal.

But I've been aimless for a few months now and I'm not coping well without something to focus on. 

I'm supposed to be starting my Advanced Teacher Status course this year but there is nothing to work on yet, so I feel stuck and, to be honest, a little bored.

Then, a random Thursday night programme presented by Robson Green changed everything. For 3 weeks, he walked the length of Hadrian's Wall and spoke about its history, why people completed this path, the areas surrounding it, etc. and I was intrigued. I could do that... at least, I think I can. I'd always admired those people I saw in Scotland walking another great trail, The West Highland Way, and had vague feelings of jealousy. The sense of accomplishment you must feel at the end of a multi day hike was something I wanted to experience. 

And like that, I decided I was going to do it (Hadrian's Wall I mean, seeing as it is shorter and easier than TWHW).

I have done my research, joined different Facebook groups, followed certain hashtags and gone down several rabbit holes with various YouTube channels.

Today, I officially booked my first accommodation so now it's starting to feel more real. I am going to walk the wall in the May/June half term. I'm going to do more long walks. In fact, as soon as I've written this post, I'm off to prep for an 8 mile hike tomorrow (with rain forecast all day - yay me).

But I want to do this. I need to do this. I don't know why, I can't explain this need for a target but I do know that when I achieve something, I feel great! 

Besides, what's wrong with getting out of the comfort zone every now and then?

Dress for your age?

Apparently, as we get older, women are supposed to follow certain rules when it comes to fashion. No skirts above the knee after a 'certain age', no sleeveless tops after a 'certain age'. I'm not even sure what that 'certain age' even is but I've decided that these rules are utter nonsense and here is why.

Most of these rules have more than likely been decided by men. Yes, women may write about them in fashion magazines, or share these ideals with their friends, but the ultimate source is probably from what men like or dislike on a woman. So actually these dressing rules are another form of control that men used to keep women in line.

OK, that might be quite heavy for a first point, but allow me to continue. How we dress should be an expression of who we are. Our personalities shine through the clothes that we wear. Even if trends don't bother us, that would still be seen through our choice of garments. Therefore, why should any rules apply at all? Our personalities don't always drastically change as we age (maturing from adolescent to adult aside) so why should our clothing? It's not realistic to assume that a woman goes to bed after a birthday night out in a leopard print mini skirt and awakes the next day needing to buy everything several inches longer just because she reached that magical 'certain age'.

Another thing that I don't understand is how these rules can apply when some people don't look a 'certain age'. There's a lot more help now to keep women looking younger, including creams, pills, lazers and needles. Women are growing older but not necessarily looking it. I'm lucky enough to have been told by a few people that I don't look my age (40 for any enquiring minds) so surely that means I could get away with particular rule breaks? However, do I look like I dress by the rules?  Most of my clothing has either a band or a comic book character on it. Even my work dresses have dinosaurs on them.

Which brings me to the main reason why I started this brain dump to begin with.

I bought a pair of leather like trousers recently. They fit comfortably so I was chuffed with that. But I actually second guessed myself and started to worry about what people would think when I wore them out somewhere. Yep, my brain started to overthink and I wondered if I was too old to wear them 🙄 (insert face palm here). Luckily this was for only a brief moment but it's amazing that I felt like that at all. That ideas like that are ingrained in (mostly) women so they question their fashion choices, not because of aesthetic or trend, but because of age.

As the world opens back up, I look forward to wearing clothes other than PJs or leggings (although I do have a cracking selection of lycra such as the pair above). As I approach that 'certain age' (or have I already reached it?) I hope to continue to dress in the same haphazard, 'looks like it was dark when I changed', manner that suits me. And if that means breaking a few age related rules, then so be it.... I hope you can join me 😁

Film Review - Godzilla Vs Kong

I haven't done one of these in a while so please be gentle.

Director: Adam Wingard

Starring: Rebecca Hall, Kaylee Hottle, Alexander Skarsgard, Millie Bobby Brown.

If you've been following the MonsterVerse, starting with the reintroduction of Godzilla in 2014, you will know that everything has been leading to this showdown.

At the end of Godzilla: King of Monsters (don't read on if you haven't seen it) our favourite giant lizard had defeated Ghidorah and was left as the alpha titan. But, as we all knew, there was one who stayed out of the monster showdown.

And here we are, back on Skull Island where Kong's home is now a Monarch outpost, and essentially a prison. We are introduced to Rebecca Hall's Dr Andrews and young Jia (Kaylee Hottle), who we find out has a bond with our favourite giant primate. The relative calm is interrupted by Alexander Skarsgard's character who wants Kong to lead a team to Hollow Earth.

At the same time, Godzilla attacks the U.S. coast, seemingly without any provication. However, Madison (Millie Bobby Brown returning from King of Monsters) enlists the help of friend Josh (Deadpool 2's Julian Dennison) and conspiracy theorist Bernie (played by Brian Tyree Henry) to find out what is really wrong with Godzilla.

Sometimes  with films like these, the major showdown is teased throughout but nothing happens until the final act. However, with Godzilla Vs Kong, it delivers on its promise of a gigantic fight, not once but twice. The effects are amazing, and both Monsters look spectacular (anyone who thinks otherwise is welcome to revisit the original 1962 version and then tell me how CGI has ruined films 🙄).

The human cast in Monster movies can sometimes be surplus to requirement, but most of the actors here are well cast (and are an improvement on the previous outings cast in terms of likeability) . Top mention for Hottle who is wonderful as Kong's young friend Jia. 

This film might be headlined by Godzilla but this is Kong's movie. We've focused on the king of the monsters twice now so it is nice to see how Kong has grown and changed since Skull Island. Don't let that put you off. I'm one of Godzilla's biggest fans but even I knew we had to see this from Kong's perspective to keep the audience's interest (worked for me).

I read some 'reviewers' comments before I watched the movie myself and I have to wonder what these people have actually been watching. If you are confused about the plot, or unclear regarding why these two titans throwdown at all, may I suggest you rewatch the previous installments. Everything has clearly led to this moment. If you don't understand how, it's probably because you weren't paying attention (or haven't seen the previous films, in which case, what the hell are you doing reading this 🤔?)

My only regret is my first viewing wasn't on a bigger screen (not to brag but my telly is pretty big, just not cinema big). It deserves to be seen as large as possible. I will definitely be watching it again once my local Cineworld reopens.

For anyone who doesn't mind seeing it first on TV, to quote someone I know, 4K is the way. This movie needs to be seen in the highest definition possible so the colours really stand out (you'll know what I mean when you see it).

The Perils of being an Early Bird

Today is Mother's Day, a time when mums up and down the U.K. are being spoiled by their children of all ages, including the traditional cuppa in bed. Last night my daughter told me that I was not to get up before her so she could bring me a cup of tea. To most mums, this sounds great; being able to laze around and be served with a hot cuppa by their doting child. However, I find this instruction difficult because I am one of those horrid freaks - a natural early riser 😱

I've not always been this way. Years ago I was partial to a weekend lie in until the clock showed double figures. But when I started teaching, I knew that I was going to find it difficult to fit in exercise with my new working hours and extra responsibilities. I had always been active with riding my bike to and from work, and swimming regularly, but now I would have to find a new way of staying in shape. And thus, I trained myself to wake up earlier. It wasn't an easy transition but eventually I would get up at 5am, get my workout done and then get ready for the working day.

I like the way this sets up my day. It really is true that the only workout you regret is the one you don't do. If I don't exercise before work, I know it won't get done later, and I feel sluggish and slow all day. Working out for 30 minutes each morning gives me the start I need. Unfortunately, this has also impacted my weekend.

Sunday is the one day of the week where I refuse to set an alarm. I double check on Saturday night that my watch and phone are both silenced so I can try to enjoy a lie in. But my body disagrees. Take this morning for example. My daughter had warned me not to get up early but at 6.30am my body (or more accurately, my bladder) had other ideas. When I got back in bed, I tried hard to go back to sleep but once I'm awake, that's it, I'm not nodding off again. Sometimes it's OK. I'll just camp out in the front room with tea and a book, enjoying the silence until the rest of the clan emerge. But this morning, I was not disappointing my daughter. Two hours later 😧 she finally emerged and the day could begin. I should be grateful, it's probably the earliest she has woken on a weekend in months.

I know I sound ungrateful. It's not that. I've trained myself to wake up early and I forget sometimes that it isn't normal to everyone. If I'm planning on going anywhere, I want to be there when it opens, mostly to avoid it being too 'peopley'. It does make spontaneous trips more difficult and it must frustrate the hell out of my not as early to rise daughter (although she still indulges me every so often with morning trips out).

Being an early riser also means being an early to bed-der. Whilst my husband and daughter are settling down for the evening, I'm cleansing and toning for the night. It's not that I can't stay up, but if my alarm is set for 5am, what's the point? If I don't try to get my 8 hours (which in reality ends up being more like 6 hours) of sleep, I'll more likely snooze too many times, not do my workout and just be a miserable batch all day... all for the sake of staying up a little later, not doing much. At least my early wake up gets me active.

I like routine and 5am wake up calls are part of that. I thrive on having a plan but it does sometime mean that my life doesn't quite align with those I love. 

But this morning, my daughter made me a cup of tea in bed... that was worth staying in bed for.

International Women's Day - what does it mean to be a 'strong' woman?

I thought I would take a break from my blog challenge to address International Women's Day.

I've heard all the comments that surface on this day:

"What do you need to celebrate for?"

"What about men's day?"

Etc. Etc. Etc.

International Women's Day is a day for ALL women. Those in countries without equal rights. Those who struggle to raise a family, hold down a job, continue their education, support loved ones, and so on. Those who smile on the outside whilst struggling internally. Those who suffer at the hands of those who should love them unconditionally. All women should be supported and celebrated - that's what today is for. Not necessarily for ourselves, but for women everywhere.

Day 7 - Hobbies/Interests

Before lockdown (part one) I loved to be out and about. My interests were mainly in the arts: music, film, theatre, museums... I wanted to see, hear and learn as much as I could. The hubby, teenager and I would always be going to gigs and the cinema. However, there were quite a few times when something of interest would crop up and I would go see films, plays or exhibitions on my own (I fully believe that you shouldn't miss out on something just because noone else is interested. I also believe you shouldn't drag someone along if they aren't keen to go. Just pull on those big girl pants and take a solo trip.)

Since lockdown my interests have had to adapt quite a bit. That isn't to say that the arts completely stopped, just became a little more home-based. We've streamed a couple of gigs, and Mischief Theatre did some online performances that had my daughter and I in stitches. I attended some online museum talks, but after teaching online for hours on end, you kind of want to separate from the screen for a while.

So I've picked up a couple of new hobbies in this past year. I've taken up colouring. I'm definitely not a very artistic person but it is quite therapeutic and I certainly feel a sense of achievement when I finish a picture (my poor hubby - it must be like having a small child again when I'm shoving the paper under his nose and proclaiming "look what I've done!")

Then there's the knitting. I've tried it before a few years ago when I had all these great intentions of creating a blanket. But it all fizzled out after a few months. Well, I've picked up the needles again (OK, new needles as I threw out the old ones years ago) and the blanket is back up and running. 1) Because I thought it could be kept as a family heirloom, and 2) I only really know how to knit squares.

Lockdown is coming to an end (apparently and eventually). Cinemas and theatres will open back, museums will welcome back visitors, and bands will get back on stages to entertain crowds. But, I'll still try to keep up my new hobbies, because you never know what might happen next (and people can always use a new blanket).

Day 6 - Hidden Talent

I don't think I have any talents, hidden or otherwise. I guess it's because I see talent as something that occurs naturally, or at least with minimum effort.

Everything I have achieved, and still aim to achieve, is down to hard work. I've had to graft to get what I want. Sometimes it has paid off, and others... well I guess you can't have a success story for everything you do.

My career is currently a result of 6 years of part time degree study (whilst working and raising my young daughter), plus a further 2 years of teacher training whilst simultaneously teaching a full timetable. I still have more I want to complete (Advanced Teacher Status, Masters) but I have no talent for it, I have to work hard.

My fitness and motivation definitely does not come naturally. I've had to push myself to get into the routine of early morning workouts and healthy eating. Again, this is not talent, just stubbornness.

Day 5 - Favourite Movie

No after thoughts or second guesses needed for this entry. My favourite film is One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. 

I was about 12 years old when my dad first introduced me to this. He brought it home on video and we sat and watched it together. I was mesmerised, mainly with Jack Nicholson's performance as R.P. Mcmurphy. It was the film that sparked something inside me that led to my passion for the movies, and a growing obsession with Jack (and maybe a bit of a crush).

I'm going to start a film challenge this weekend where the first entry is my favourite movie, so I will go into more detail then. For now, I'll ask, what's your favourite film?

Day 4 - Favourite Song

As I've said previously, I love rock and metal. I'm not adverse to other genres, but I like it loud and heavy 🤘

My favourite song is not one from my favourite band (the hubby was certain I'd be writing about a Skindred track). Instead, my favourite song is 'Born to Raise Hell'.

I don't know if it's the music, the lyrics, or even just the fact that it's in the movie 'Airheads' (which I seriously love) but this song just does something for me. Feeling sad - play the song. Feeling angry - play the song. Feeling romantic - sod it, play the song.

I never got to hear the original version live but was lucky enough to see Phil Campbell and the Bastard Sons play it with Whitfield Crane at the Shepherd's Bush Empire.

So what about you? Which song is your ultimate track? Feel free to comment here or on the page where you found this link.

See you tomorrow 🤘

Day 3 - Dream job

No, I don't dream of being a cinema usher (I'd end up being fired for ignoring the customers so I could watch the movies and eat all the popcorn). 

I would love to be a film director. Not 'I wanted to be a film director', I want to be - the dream hasn't died yet. I mean Ridley Scott was 42 when he directed Alien, so maybe there's still hope for me yet.

I'm not completely delusional. I know Oscar success might evade me - I've probably got more chance of winning a Razzie, but that didn't harm Halle Berry's career.

My hubby is still encouraging me to go and make a short film of my own and I'm definitely up for the challenge. If I can stay consistent with my writing, it could well be the next step.

If I fail to become the next Kathryn Bigelow, owning my own cinema would be a good conciliation prize.

Day 2 - Goals for March

1) Finish this challenge

I'm quite fickle and sometimes have grand ideas that I don't always see through. I blame it on having so many ideas that something new always comes along and distracts me. However, I'm making a concerted effort to finish this challenge. We'll see where we are in 30 days.

2) Continue prep for photoshoot

I had booked myself a photoshoot to celebrate turning 40. Obviously due to Covid, it had been pushed back (twice). It is booked for 24th April so fingers crossed, with BoJo's recent lockdown road map, this time is the one. With that in mind, I'm trying my best to stay in shape so my photos look good. For March I just want to be consistent and keep my workouts going. I keep changing my mind about the type of body I want to have, but as long as it's fit and healthy, I'll be happy (and if an ab or two decides to make an appearance, I certainly won't complain).

3) Make plans

I'm cautiously optimistic about the end of lockdown. I know things are not set in stone but I also feel better when I have something to look forward to. I love making a list and planning days out (with appropriate wardrobe ideas). So I have started to put things in motion, although slowly and carefully for now. By the end of this month, I would like to have at least booked a staycation for May, and I might start to buy tickets for some theatre shows, although I'm booking way ahead (October time), just in case. I would also like to get out of my flat and go somewhere other than the shops (my current weekend treat) so I have decided to go blossom hunting. One of the houses along my daily walking route has a blossoming tree in the front garden and it definitely lifts my spirits when I see it. Therefore, before the month is through, I would like to visit at least one London park, and spend some time with the cherry blossoms.

Day 1 - About me

It feels a little silly doing this as pretty much everyone who might read this blog already knows me. But, just in case any newbies do sneak in (or found this by accident) it's only polite to introduce myself.

I'm Kerry, 40 years old, currently a teacher but possibly the world's next best film director or movie critic (it's good to have dreams).

I have one teenage daughter who is like me in some ways, and so much better than me in others.

I've been married to Luke for almost 2 years although we've been together for closer to two decades - we were slow up the aisle (insert your own jokes here).

I love movies. I'm obsessed with films of most types (have to confess to not being a massive fan of horror or rom -coms). I am equally happy watching a serious drama or a fast paced action flick. One day I hope to make my own short film, but until then I'm happy to just watch, talk and write about other people's efforts (part admiration and part jealousy). 

I also love heavy music - rock and metal. But that doesn't mean I can't appreciate some Lady Gaga or Jamie Cullum (I loved his Christmas album).

I'm happy to enjoy the great outdoors with long nature walks, but just as happy to chill at home in my PJs with a cuppa and some knitting.

OK, think that'll do for now before this starts to sound like some cheesy Tinder profile. I'm sure I'll end up revealing more about myself as the challenge goes on - the good, the bad and the downright weird.

Lockdown part 3 - the story so far...

So here we are again. Four weeks into the latest national lockdown and I have to admit, it's starting to get to me. However, I have made an effort to keep my body and brain active. I thought I would just share what I have been doing this time around in an attempt to make my way through this and hopefully come out of the other side with some ounce of sanity still intact.

Hobbies

There's never been a better time to pick up a new hobby (or 5). During the week I'm glued to my dinner table, staring at a screen. Whether it be for teaching a class, attending a meeting or observing another teacher, I'm stuck in the same place for hours and hours and hours (you get the picture). I didn't want my weekend time to be exactly the same as my work time (screen time is OK but needed to break it up somehow). So I have invested in a couple of new activities to keep me going.

First up is colouring. This is a craze I initially resisted, mainly because if everyone else is doing it, I try to avoid it. But lockdown 3 has changed my mind. Something I originally dismissed as brain numbing now looked like something I needed. Something I could do to lose myself, even if for just a short time. I've only coloured one page so far but I was so proud of what I had achieved. It's the most creative I've been with my down time so far so will definitely be doing more soon.

The other main hobby I have taken up is knitting. Now I know this is not something normally associated with a rock chick like myself 🙄 but I find it quite comforting. And it's something that I've dabbled in on and off over the years. This time I have given myself an actual task,  to create a blanket using three colours, one picked by each of the household. I'll be sure to keep you updated in the coming months.

Reading

Yes, there's nothing better than getting lost in great stories to take your mind away from the shit reality we are currently living in.

Now I love reading but I always have periods of devouring different books and then spending a long time not looking at a single page. I think it might be because I constantly change my mind about books and genres. So far this month I have finished 2 James Patterson novels. Now going to change it up and read an autobiography that I've been after for ages (see above). Maybe mixing up my book types might keep my brain engaged 🤞.

Fitness

Anyone who knows me knows that exercise has been a big part of my life for the last few years. First it was 'shredding for the wedding'. Then it was all about being #fitbefore40. Now it's all about being the best me. Now to be fair, I'm not sure what my exact goal is yet, or even if there is a specific goal, but working out makes me feel better about myself. During this lockdown I'm trying to get out for a walk in the morning, to clear my head before my day begins. I've only been doing it regularly for the last week but so far so good. Whilst reading and my new hobbies keep my brain engaged, this is the way I keep my body in check.

Fight Film Friday

So this was a term I made up after watching an action film one Friday evening. Sitting with the hubby and our daughter, watching people kicking the shit out of one another, I realised it was a release we all needed after a week at work/home learning. Something that didn't tax the brain. Good old fashioned action - a genre we all love. Hence, Fight Film Friday was born. It's something that I now look forward to each week, a chance to chill after a more often than not stressful week. My snack bowls have made a comeback (more about those another time) and I've been able to rediscover some oldies but goldies. Maybe I'll do some posts on the movies we watch... maybe.

Writing this blog is also good for me. I've neglected it for a long time as I wasn't sure what I should focus on. But it's supposed to be just my way of getting my thoughts out into the world. I write for me but if it resonates with anybody else, well that can only be a good thing.